Great Expectations of happy forever after, emotional, physical, economic & sexual fulfillment
The question that many of us eventually come to secretly asking ourselves, if not publicly at some point in our lives – at some point in our relationships, at some point in our marriages is: am I emotionally, sexually, socially psychologically or even physiologically designed to wall myself off and cleave unto one other person, exclusively for my entire life – till death do us part?
Can one man realistically fulfill one woman’s natural inclinations for variety through challenge and through inspiration, as well as, support her towards growth on all sides of the mysterious and fantastic realm of the sexual psyche? And likewise, is it reasonable to expect a man; any man regardless of their situation or station in life, culture or economic capacity, to remain content with the limit of emotional, physical and sexual encounter that a single woman can provide, out of the range of billions the world over?
And if we decide that it is an appallingly unnatural concept – one that goes against the very sociable and experience seeking nature of both sexes, who is it that first imposed such expectations on mankind? And who is imposing just deplorable restrictions on us now?
Where do these expectations come from – and more importantly who do they serve?
Should we also not question whether these expectations of confinement and strangulating intimate and social-association limits are environmentally sound and socially responsible? Are they fair to the development and overall life experience of the individual male or female, or anyone else in their vicinity or the wider world?
Of course we do not have to look too far north or south, east or west to find that singular marriage between a man and a woman has been imposed on us, via our forefathers and on native peoples, predominately from the imposed rule – from corrupt conquers and their armies who are directed by the layers of governments and various bands of posse they install and command conscription to ‘win takes all’ ‘power over’ absolute rule.
And so on and on it goes – unopposed right down to this present day. This training has been so thorough that few of us even bother to raise our heads above the confines of our suburban boxes and narrow containments of loyalty and conscription to serve the interests of our immediate blood relations and one vowed forever-after, till death do us part, love and sexual interest, to investigate what might better serve our fundamental and inherent physical, social and environmental essentials.
Incontestably this idealization of one-on-one isolated coupling has systematically been imposed on the natural peoples by invaders – those who insist by fair means, but mostly foul, to conscript and thus plunder the natural habitat of those living under free access, shared resource and gifting arrangements.
The central argument of many who are waking from the spell of generations of conscripted programming, is that while we still think under Catholic centralized control constraints and conscription, from which all denominations of the Christian faith and the Bible itself originate, and therefore still remain centered within its power base; the world’s inhabitants are doomed – on a fast track to ‘hell’ as foretold in its own device, the book of ‘Revelation’.
No matter how much the Protestant and New Wave Evangelist Churches believe they have reformed the Catholic hierarchy’s age-old fabrications and corruptions, they have not; nor can they while they adhere to these concocted unnatural canons of rules, regarding men and women’s relationships, and most critically the dictates of what constitutes natural and mutually life-enhancing, safe and beneficial sexual interactions with, and obligations to each other, as well as, the wider community.
The idea of singular coupling, indisputably, almost always is sold to us largely through story. For most of us in the western world, and also for many in the east such as India and even Africa, this indoctrination begins in early childhood with enchanting fables being told to us, not about ourselves or our own socio-economic positions or destitution, but rather these stories are designed to evoke even the littlest of sensitive children to begin caring about the fate of otherwise entitled princesses – those of noble and famed birth, such as Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and Snow White, amongst a host of others who all just happen to be pitiful, powerless damsels in distress, in need of rescue by noble-birthed Princes.
Under this design of programming, we the conscripted subjects of empires, and now in more modern times, corporate government-backed empires are taught to seek rescue from the representations of all forms of romanticized princes and nobleman also, rather than taught to look within our own reaches – within ourselves and band together with those, forced or otherwise, to play upon our same anything but level playing field.
The world over, we are taught to idealize singular marriage, or else under more so-called liberal rule, exclusive coupled relationships – the cleaving of one to one other. Likewise we are trained to accept singular oppositional and competitive government; and thereby largely deconstructive organization of the means of production and distribution of necessary life-sustaining goods and services; rather than reared and educated to participate in cooperative ‘by the people for the people’ whole citizen contributive governance.
For so many it is such so sad and disturbing to realize that chiefly from the cradle to the grave, they are molded to expect – honor and obey a singular head of state, a singular King or Queen, a singular nation and nationality, and even a singular God, that they refuse to look. But otherwise chose to dig themselves a hole and put their head in the proverbial sand, and refuse to hear any more about the subject.
Nonetheless; face it or not, it is where we are at this point in human evolution. We the primitive and unevolved in conscious awareness of our own inherent naturalness, are as if captured by Aliens. Unmistakably this single-mindedness permeates the regions of our religions, our personal, intimate and social relationship designs and even our relationship and countenance for nature and all it entails, including the birds and bees, the beasts and the beautiful terrains of the Earth’s vast regions.
For many, they can imagine no other concept but exclusive singleness of a partner to share their life with - no other arrangement to raise their children in, nor design possibly that would or could contribute to the establishment and upkeep of a home and hearth, maintain their health and their emotional health, let alone supply and satisfy their need for sexual stimulation and release.
For the most part, the majority of us have been tamed beyond an inch of our naturalness by the conscripting establishments of education, religion and what is passed down to us from generations of state conscripted wage slaves. We have been taught very well what is forbidden us. And so in most instances, we don’t dare to even trouble our minds to think outside these established confines. It is what it is, and so we stay within our prison cell even though the door is unlocked and even swung wide open. We could escape but we don’t, only because we don’t bother to imagine what country might lie beyond ‘hell’.
The sad fact is most of us, have given up on freedom - given up on naturalness too. We are so entirely layered in falsity that there seems no possible way to escape all that is fabricated; all that bombards us through the false images presented to us by the media, education, the constructs of religion and the corporations themselves that essentially and irrevocably govern us – and thereby direct the constructs of our so-called democratic societies, marriages and family arrangements.
If however we were to allow ourselves to imagine and even to go after arrangements that would better suit our emotional, physical, economic, or ‘heaven forbid’ - sexual natures, is it not true that we would encounter many deterrents? Undeniably we have and still are, presented with a myriad of examples of the possible consequences that we know if we were to try to satisfy our needs, outside the confines of what is dictated to us, we risk at the very least, ridicule; at the worst - outright persecution, and in many cases, even prosecution under the law.
Clearly this rule by ‘divide and conquer’ is no accident. It all marries together; pardon the pun. Reduce everyone as close as possible to a single unit and you have them; controlled and utterly enslaved – begging at your feet for mercy, pleading for a scrap of bread, a job, health cover, to be able to live at all. So it is under Global Corporate conscription.
Man and women will never be free citizens of the earth while they allow themselves to be walled off from cooperating and contributing – giving and taking from the greater whole. While the average person continues in their misery to seek the solace and support of one lone individual, the ‘Bastards’ have us, chained and tethered to debt, to wages – to J.O.B’s, just off broke jobs that in most cases, uselessly waste our lives, erode our mental and physical health; and mostly fail to provide a stitch of true personal or social satisfaction.
While we keep harking back and harking back, trying to reduce everything to a single composite – a single romantic idealized, fairy-tale love-interest that we dream has the capacity to sustain us emotionally, physically, economically and sexually, we will continue on, as inactive in making our escape as Sleeping Beauty; or as poisoned and lifeless as Snow White; or else as poor, wretched and enslaved as the mythically-entitled, Cinderella.
As generationally conscripted females, we are taught to look for him: the one and only – the prince amongst beggars. And there you convince yourself, as your own mother did, like her mother before her did, that you have found him. You have to – because time is running out. You have to leave your parent’s house. To say and throw your lot in with theirs eternally would be a disgrace, a failure on their part and yours.
Therefore you fear; and you are taught to fear from the time you took your first steps, that if you don’t grab this one, the one who shows an interest in you, you may well be left on the shelf; left to fend for yourself. And so you breathe life into him. You bestow beauty and honor on him. You invent his attributes while you do your utmost to sweep aside his flaws and defects – his roughness, his inconsideration, his gross insensitivities. You tell yourself you will work on obliterating these later; when he is yours and cannot escape. You cover over and lie to yourself and everyone else about a multitude of his commonalities, until he becomes unique - a stand-out-from-the-crowd. No one else will do. It is he and he alone who can rescue you from all that you would otherwise, face alone.
You believe with all your heart and mind that he – this one-and-only, will make you happy (link is external), take care of you, and complete you forever after – till death do you part. He has to, or else… the alternative is unimaginable - too dreadful to consider, and so you divorce the gnawing, nagging doubts that come up to torment you day and night.
Common sense or natural sense is there, but… but his children will be so beautiful, clever, talented, unique - a stand-out-from the crowd. You just know it. The promise is there all around you – on Television, in the soaps, in the movies, in a ads. Surely it must come true for you. You have to believe it. This is your destined Prince and you are his fated Princess.
Oh what joy of joy to be finally leaving the old country – the old rule of the tyrant king and queen - your parents and to be establishing a new kingdom, complete with a palace as well as eventually, hopefully a myriad of subjects of our own.
The concept of true-love truly has something going for it. It is pain relief, an analgesic. Suddenly conscript’s emptiness and suffering becomes bearable. There is finally an end in sight. The young man looks into the maiden’s inviting eyes and he sees a universe, filled with longing and promise. Suddenly he is needed. Suddenly he has a mission. Suddenly he has the potential of being crowned someone’s King.
Through her, he has establishment. Through her, he will no longer be an appendage of his parents - no longer a subject of their miserable little kingdom. With this fair maiden by his side; on his side, he is sure he will build a much grander kingdom than theirs. His reign will be righteous, honorable and fair. He cannot wait to show the father and the mother how to establish and rule a suburban kingdom in the proper way.
And so the pair set off with plans to marry - to cleave only unto each other, forsaking all others. They believe that they have all they will ever need, right next to them. They do not see that they too have been hypnotized, just like their father and mother, and grandparents, and their parents before them, to carry conscription on their backs and into their beds. Thus the conscripted man and woman are led away at an early age from discovering the truth about our own distress, and henceforth utterly and entirely distracted from doing anything about it.
The stories of kings and queens, princes and princesses, kingdoms and crowns, subjects and knights and fair maidens in need of rescuing from all kinds of distress, are consciously known or otherwise blindly followed, undiscovered, as the very foundations of our sexual psyches – which chemically and emotionally drive our lives. And the deposits into our sexual psyches go on, right up to our present day and age, in the form of happily-ever-after stories told and retold by corporations such as Disney that make a fortune piping the hopes and dreams of generations, right into their living rooms.
Think of Snow White, Beauty and the Beast, Little Mermaid, and Sleeping Beauty and also the merchandise that follows. But still, these are petty stuff compared with what these fables are really designed to prepare us for. These are among the many fairy tales that speak to the young heart, promising them a Prince Charming, or a Princess who will fulfill their dreams. And of course the union of the Prince and Princess necessitates a Palace, complete with a chariot or two. Thus the idea that a mortgage will need to be entered into – essentially debt, is introduced early in the game.
The stories of romantic singular coupling have inarguably been around as religious and imperial coercion – a trickery, a lure to elicit ‘divide and conquer’ conscriptive assaults on the natural sexual psyche of mere children, for millennia. These separatist ideas and ideals have a specific purpose, which is to prepare us for the loss of our otherwise natural inclination and drive toward social union - for loss of innate-compulsion toward socially shared and honored incorporated power and privilege. It is the oldest con that have managed to cut an almost unanimous swath, across all but the most intact native peoples of Borneo, Australia, Alaska, India, Africa and parts of Asia - including Japan, China and Tibet.
No doubt the idea of idealized romantic love preceded Disney by thousands of years. Today it may be Indiana Jones saving some female archaeologist who went picking around somewhere she shouldn’t; while yesterday it was a gallant knight rescuing some fair maiden, captured and carried off my some rival Lord or rotten King. But the concept of needing to be rescued and the gallantry involved in rescuing others, still the same.
Oh how we do love to think of ourselves as saving others and also of needing to be saved. But really if we look closely, we will surely see that it is a childishness which critically needs to be evolved beyond.
Growing up and growing out of the need to be rescued from our own entrenched naivety; rescued and excavated from blindly following the patterns and pretensions of the past; putting away the need for heroes and villains, damsels and underlings, would indeed be a revolutionary step that might rationally lead us to a greater capacity to share the world’s resources... read more - the more the Merrier
The casualties of most divorces are unfortunately children. Many children suffer complete abandonment by their fathers and sometimes their mothers, as well as, extended family when their parents divorce. Of course this abandonment means that many children are left without adequate support to finish school, let alone go onto college, or have access to basic dental or medical care.
Most children whose parents divorce are also left tossed about from one parent to the other, enduring endless access visits that see them waiting around to either come or go from either parent's home. Of course all this 'visiting' can cause great emotional insecurity that causes the child to feel that they do not belong anywhere.
The divorce rate in the USA is reported to be as high as 53% and rising. Spain, Portugal, Luxembourg, the Czech Republic, and Hungary are worse off with divorce rates higher than 60%.
Belgium has the highest rate of divorce, set at a staggering 70%.
The lowest official rate is in Chile with 3%.